You spend everyday checking in the mirror, scrutinising your hair, desperately wishing it grows back because all will be great again. Then it does grow back and after the initial elation you’re still not happy? WTH? Here’s what I think every woman should know about regrowth after alopecia hair loss.
Having experienced hair loss and regrowth most of my life, I firmly believe that losing your hair through alopecia is more of a psychological problem than one about physical appearance. It’s the meaning that we attach to things that’s the real issue.
Most people can understand why someone would be so distressed about losing their hair. Losing your hair and the meaning we have attached to it, is most women’s idea of hell. Ultimately we want to be loved and accepted by everyone. Very clever marketing companies have always used this fear against us. Creating impossible beauty standards so we keep spending money.
The thing about alopecia is that you cannot control it, you are always at its mercy. You may get your hair back but you can never really enjoy it. Fingers searching for smooth patches in your scalp and scrutinising hairlines in the mirror are daily habits that never go away. And for lots of women there is disappointment. The meaning we attached to our hair growing back being the end of all our misery is simply not true. You feel like you should be ecstatic, and you possibly will for a while, but it won’t be long before you’re back to feeling empty.
Here’s the thing that most people don’t understand though. For women who decide to accept their alopecia, hair regrowth can more distressing. For them they have embraced a new meaning and hair regrowth leads us to question our beliefs once more.
What if my hair grows back and I get used to it, start to enjoy and love it and then it goes again. Will I ever be able to return to acceptance?
Once my hair grows back I will feel a fraud:
My new identity and purpose, that I am proud to have created, is lost
I won’t be able to connect with my fellow alopecians
I can’t wear my wigs or hairpieces anymore.
So what to do about it? I am not a counsellor or psychologist but I have lost my hair in patches and completely many times over the years and it has grown fully back. I am someone who struggled with alopecia for many years before embracing it. I am someone who talks to a lot of other women with hair loss.
I have learnt that your experience of the world is in your own head. That you have the power to change the meaning of things. It’s not easy but you are totally in control of how happy you are. If we can do our best to recognise where we have been conditioned and how our actions reinforce what we believe it is easier to make changes.
If i’d have gone to the doctor about my hair loss and he’d recommended counselling I would have lost it. All I wanted was my hair back!!!! I now wish it was an option I’d had. Perhaps I would have had even more happier years.
For me the major shift happened when I found finally found products that I felt I looked good in. Since then the changes have been gradual. I started to embrace wigs and wearing hair (when before I would have rather died then be discovered), being open about my hair loss to today showing my bald head to everyone. I very much enjoy wearing hair and always will, I am getting better at thinking I look good without it too.
Wearing wigs and hair pieces will not solve all your problems but if you want to embrace it, it will certainly make a huge difference. I’ve seen too many women transform so I know it’s not just me. If your hair is growing then dropping out it’s reassuring to have hair that you can wear for the patchy periods. It takes the stress off. I have customers that don’t have hair loss and simply love switching up their looks.
If you are a woman with hair loss or is bald by choice, who is comfortable and confident, you have my ultimate respect. I would love to see much more of your stories and advice.