Here’s a picture of me out on Saturday night, around London, visiting various busy bars. It will always be something I remember because this was the first time I have ever dressed up to go out as a bald woman. It was the last weekend of the alopecia awareness month, so I attended a met up with fellow follicle free friends through Alopecia UK.
There was around 10 of us that had attended without hair. That day I wanted to be bald and brave to prove to them (and myself) that you can feel safe without an armour of hair. Something that my 20 and 30 yrs old self would never have believed possible.
I am a big believer in wearing what makes you feel good. And wearing wigs and hairpieces makes me feel beautiful and glamourous. I never hide that I am wearing hair though, I am proud to be open about it. Proud by how far I have come.
I have learnt, after a very long time living with alopecia, and meeting countless other women, that keeping it hidden will own you. I am, sadly, yet to meet a lady who keeps her hair loss a total secret that is happy. It’s not that you need to announce that gutting handful of hair that came out in the shower this morning, no more than I’d discuss my wet bum having sat on a toilet seat (half asleep) loving sprayed by my son. But lying, hiding and avoiding situations because of your hair will imprison you mentally and physically.
Saturday night was different. It was the end of A UK awareness month and I wanted for once to go out as a proud bald woman. I travelled there bald, I socialised bald and then I met up with other friends and hit the bars around London until the small hours. Here’s what I learnt:
1) In London nobody stared at me and nobody cared.
2) Honesty I did not feel dressed up or glamourous, but I was not self-conscious. *
3) It was cold outside!
4) After a while I genuinely forgot about it and had a good night.
5) Retrospectively I feel stronger and braver.
6) As strong as I feel, positive social proof does really help.
7) Going out in the evening bald is not something I plan to do a lot because I love dressing up. Hair is very much part of that for me. *
8) There is no right or wrong way to feel. Just the way you feel.
9) Some people will think I look OK and some won’t. It doesn’t make them anymore or less of a person however they feel.
10) I do secretly want someone to chat me up whilst I am bald. Not because they think I’m desperate but because they find it sexy. *
*Perhaps I still need to work a little harder on the story I’ve told myself about myself.
After over 25yrs of living with this condition I am still learning. Perhaps I’ve come a little further than you and you’d like to talk to me about it. I’m here to listen so feel free to get in touch when you’re ready.